zoo

I got back from a trip to Coventry to find out Rose bit a couple of children today at nursery this afternoon. Today was the furthest I’ve ever been from her, every time a snowflake came down from the sky I worried about the trains stopping and being stuck in the Midlands for ever far away from my baby. It didn’t snow very much in the end and I came home to find her peacefully eating her dinner (potato and all the trimmings, a Jason special). She seemed a bit out of sorts for the rest of the evening, being quite naughty and throwing things. Maybe she just had a bad day at the office and tomorrow she will be back to her lovely self.

At the weekend we went to the zoo! It was great. Rose proved her developing language skills by talking fluent monkey, bird, lion and warthog.

She’s a lover and a fighter

Rose’s nursery report today says she is being kind to a younger child, who is only a year old, and that she hugs her if she cries. I like this, she fights the boys but she also has a soft and caring side. What a cool girl. My mum says Rose is now top dog at nursery being nearly 2, enjoy it Rose.

I was struck by the fact that Rose can identify at least three types of footwear already. She will spontaneously name shoes, boots and slippers. In fact when I pick her up from nursery she looks up in delight and says ‘Daddee!’, and then hurtles towards me shouting ’shooooooeeees!’. Obviously shoes have quite a large place in her life. She can put her wellies on by herself although she gets a bit angry and hurls her strappy shoes at the wall because she can’t put them on herself yet.

She is slowly getting to grips with me and Jason having different job titles even though we do the same job. I can see why it’s confusing, after all we both do the cooking and nappy changing stuff, obviously she’s forgotten all about the birth and breast feeding stuff I did. Huh. This evening she pointed at me and Jason and said ‘mummy’ and ‘daddy’, then pointed at herself and said ‘Rowss’. It’s the first time she’s managed it. Interestingly she has no trouble with calling my parents by their names.

Yesterday evening I was pottering in the kitchen and it all went quiet in the sitting room so I looked round the corner. Rose was sitting on the sofa reading books to herself, turning pages and quietly burbling. Interestingly she didn’t try to squish the pages like she sometimes does when she’s on our laps. There is one book she genuinely can read herself – it’s a fabric book with a rabbit on a string which you insert into little loops or pockets on each page. She acts out all the events like making snoring noises when the rabbit is in bed, and the rabbit playing peek a boo with a bear (nobody gets eaten oddly) and feeding the rabbit icecreams and cereal.

At the weekend Jason said to Rose ‘we love you!’ and she pointed at herself then us and said ‘I (blurble) you’ which I can only interpret as meaning ‘I love you’. This is amazing not only because of the love thing but also because of using pronouns. Also she was mainly pointing towards me so I win. I know this because Jason got grumpy and said ‘what about me?’. So childish.

Grrr

Yesterday was the first nice day in several years so we drove out into Kent for a lovely country walk. Rose was eating her sandwich on a bench in the middle of a golf course, when a couple with a labrador came along. Of course being a labrador it hurtled towards us like a formula one racing car and screeched to a halt with its nose inches away from Rose’s sandwich. She wasn’t too freaked out about it, she just emitted a small wobbly noise and tried to protect her sandwich with an arm.

I on the other hand was really pissed off. I can’t remember the exact exchange but it began with me yelling at the woman to take her dog away, she weakly calls to dog, dog ignores her completely, I growl at woman to please control her dog, she says I AM controlling my dog and for heavens sake it’s a LABRADOR it’s not going to bite her, anyway it went on like this until she told me not to speak to her like that, through her teeth. Then I decided to be the mature one and turned my nose in the air to signal the exchange was over (while muttering ‘but you can’t control your dog, can you’ under my breath).

Rose carried on with her lunch unperturbed, and a minute later we noticed the couple hanging about on the other side of the path making their dog sit and stay. I may have overreacted a bit yes. Obviously a labrador is fairly unlikely to bite a child but on the other hand it would definitely nick a sandwich. Being a cat person but very opposed to prejudice and discrimination I’m really keen for Rose to decide for herself that she doesn’t like dogs. She needs a healthy respect for dogs but I don’t want her to be nervous around them and great slobbering labradors poking their muzzles in is the kind of thing that might give you a complex.

We had a nice visit from one of her nursery mates on Sat morning then we bumped into our neighbour with her toddler at lunchtime and went for lunch together. It was interesting that she and the little boy got into occasional small scuffles because they are quite physical together, and happily grab things and push each other then get upset. With Phoebe who is quite gentle fights don’t break out.

Yesterday evening Rose had the most atrocious case of wind you can imagine, it was so bad I kept blaming Jason. I kept smelling her throughout the day at work, it was worse than the Iggle Piggle theme tune.

Out Night Garden!

I’ve got the Iggle Piggle song lodged in my brain, it keeps playing and playing and I can’t stop myself humming it on the Northern Line, in the lift at work, everywhere. There is no escape. Another thing I hate about Night Garden is that moment when your child wanders off and you are left watching on your own because you have to find out what happens to Macca Pacca’s whatsit. Exposed.

Waybulo I don’t enjoy at all. It’s well made and watchable, allowing the programme makers to invade the minds of the under fives with strange, wifty-wafty pseudo-spiritual crapola. It contains: coloured crystals, a weird sundial contraption with symbols on it, characters who rise up in the air when they feel happy, and big-eyed cgi puppets (I hate big-eyed animated characters, can’t quite say why, it might be something to do with Bambi), then they get innocent little children to do yoga moves. It’s possible that my dislike is entirely based on the pilates-yoga polarity; I, and probably many others who do pilates, have an intense natural suspicion of yoga with its spiritual elements and tendency to appeal to people who like crystals. Probably yoga mums just hate Bagpuss and all those proper children’s tv programmes they had when I was a girl. But that’s another story.

It’s quite possible that Rose will just enjoy watching it and not go over to the Yoga Side, despite the crystals etc etc. She is copying me by saying ‘rubbish’ all the time which I see as a good sign.

Nice to see you…

There is a plot to ruin my Sunday evenings by moving the Antiques Roadshow to 7pm so I miss it. There is literally nothing on tv. Weekend telly has gone back to the 1970s, it’s just like it was when we watched tv at my granny’s house on a Sunday evening and all that was on was gameshows and talent competitions. I seem to remember there was a ‘Big Top’ show, which was basically the circus, on tv. It was fairly good to begin with but when it became apparent that the trapeze artists were never going to fall off we lost interest.

Today we were desperately searching the internet for advice on things to do with the under twos when you are trapped indoors (by rain, snow, triffid-based apocalypse etc). Sadly we found out that we were already doing all the things advised by the internet. Essentially, you can do your nut trying to make your home as entertaining as nursery, but since you lack the key ingredient of other children, no painting, water play, ‘construction*’ or anything is going to keep your under-two engaged for more than 5 minutes. Those so-called childcare professionals at the nursery have it easy, all they have to do is put two or more children in the same space and they will make their own fun by bickering, hitting each other, screaming with delight, running away etc etc. Me and Jason are just boring gigantos Rose has to hang out with in the evenings. Nothing like as good as the other kids at nursery. Is there somewhere you can hire other children?

Yesterday we went to the Horniman where we bumped into the little boy who Rose bites at nursery. It was nice to hang out with him and his mum but it was a bit awkward wondering if she knew, and did she know we know, and did she know we knew she knows? Anyhow the little boy is now in the big kids room to save him being gnawed to death by our daughter so hopefully we can all put it behind us.

*construction is one of the things they do at nursery apparently. ‘Small world’ is another baffling activity. Is this to do with the amusing coincidences that happen in everyday life?

Snnrrrrggrll

Rose new or newish words:

Meat, wee, nice, buggy, wet, Minnie (the cat), apple, bear, tiger, elephant, hydrogenated, cake, milk, bowl, bath, tap, teeth.

I slipped a fake in there can you spot it?

Arg it’s snowing – I’ve brought work home with me, top marks to moi. Tv news full of men in parkas predicting doom. If I am stuck at home with Rose tomorrow unable to leave the house I predict doom also. The weather has been bad for the last few days and Rose doesn’t like being kept indoors, on the other hand she doesn’t like being cold and wet outside. Sadly I can’t fix this particular problem for her.

Yesterday we had a family day out for Jason’s Shmirty Sheventh birthday. We had an upmarket breakfast out and then went to the Natural History Museum where we enjoyed the dinosaurs but not the standing in queue to see them. Rose had a screaming nightmare at about 9.30pm which may or may not have been connected to seeing a life size animatronic snarling t rex.

ps apparently she really did say elephant, Jason says so.

Triffid widdow

I’m not really into disaster movies so while Jason watches the Day of the Triffids I am sidling round the front room keeping my back to the tv. There isn’t a lot of dialogue, most of the sound is snarl, scream, crunch, snarl etc. Doesn’t sound much fun to me, can we watch Midsomer Murders? Also when I catch a glimpse of the screen it seems a tiny bit low budget with lots of dry ice concealing the edges of the sets. The triffids look like big aubergines on top of a cactus.

Amazing how I can review a programme without even watching it isn’t it. Must be the blood of centuries of Jewish mothers flowing through my veins. I saw a good joke in the papers the other day, it was: ‘Four middle aged Jewish ladies were sitting in a restaurant. The maitre d’ came over and asked ‘Is anything alright?’. It’s ok you don’t have to laugh out loud.

Btw I am starting the campaign to make Dougray Scott the next Bond, so rugged, so deliciously Scottish.

Rose and I had a lovely day despite being barricaded inside by the hideously cold depressing and vile wet weather. We went out on a mercy dash for extra hand wash, and me and Rose both got very cold feet. We spent the day making things with green paint and glitter. The one made from a wrapping paper tube looks like a Triffid actually. Then we had tuna and avocado sandwiches for lunch, oh yes the food of the gods. We made scones after nap time. Rose hit upon a scheme for eating maximum chocolate spread – gnaw off spread with front teeth and ask for more to be applied, continue until the scone is basically just a thin shell and discarded. Then it was a slide down to dinner time (noodles a la peas and pesto) followed by daddy coming home after his jaunt to the pictures to do bath and bed.

Goodbye Christmas

It was nice.

Highlights were: Jason’s home made christmas pudding, going to see Sherlock Holmes yesterday, having left over pie for lunch today, Rose eating five courses of venison on Boxing day (she now says ‘meat!’ in a very commanding tone) the neighbours visiting on Christmas eve, getting tipsy on nice Champagne and the girls screaming at the tops of their voices while the adults pretended to go to sleep in a failed attempt to create some shush.

Also, we have a new bath and curtains, and a loo roll holder on the wall, so civilised we are becoming.

badness

Over three hours to go to Sainsburys today. Luckily I went to the library on the way so had a book to read while queing Soviet style. Jason just told me he would have gone to the shops after work, but too late to actually have to do it, I can’t help noting. We now have curtains again – when we put them up they fall off, so called in a professional who gratifyingly broke 2 drill bits and had to go home for an extra strong one. He also put in a new bath so Jason can have his first bath in about 3 years.

Budget Christmas

It’s so cold, I’m wearing tights under my jeans and three jumpers. We got a cheap Christmas tree aka Chanukah bush in Thornton Heath and decorated it with pound shop baubles, plus my home made angel (brandishing Nokia phone and Channel bag). It can’t be long before Rose makes her own toilet roll angel.

Here is a list of words Rose can say:

The most recent is potato (comes out as taytoo), plus also: baby (beebee), bubbles, head, hair, hand, hat, more, apple, pear, hot! no, yes, hi, byebye, water, book, look, car, ‘all gone’ (meaning none left, or empty meaning a bottle or plate), ball, up, down, cracker, bear, ‘what’s that?’ mouth, nose, Rose (Rowze), daddee, eye, poo, teeth, bird, dog, bread, bed, bath (last three all sound pretty much the same) mummy (if the others are saying it at nursery) and animal noises for big cats, domestic cats, cows, birds and a great fish impression. She is making progress towards yoghurt, and I swear she said chocolate today when she ate one chocolate tree decoration and then wanted to eat the rest. We have removed all edible baubles to avoid future disagreements.