Are you sitting comfortably?

Mistimed my visit to the chemist to pick up Rose’s prescription for her gummy eye; all the heroin addicts were coming in for their methadone. While waiting for my eyedrops, observed the fantastic range of dusty goods for sale nestling up with the sugar free chocolate/orange/mints, including some cellophane wrapped vhs tapes for 99p each, and Harry Potter photograph albums. Go on, treat yourself. Also overjoyed to see the awfullest piece of promotional tat ever next to the counter: a plastic chair with ‘Anusol’ printed on the back rest. Would you really, even if quite tired, want to commit your bottom to that chair? Once you had sat down, you would never be able to stand up in sight of anyone else for fear of revealing the logo behind you. With all that sitting down there is a danger you would develop piles. So it’s starting to look like a cunning sales ploy by the manufacturers. Scratches beard.

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