Computer says yes – or does it?

The tax people, when you phone them up to ask how to fill in your self assessment form online, are very helpful. You are left with a feeling that they can’t do too much and would make you a cup of tea if they could. But all this self assessment bollocks means a) they are letting a bunch of amateurs handle their own tax and b) they can tell you literally anything and you will believe them, because you don’t have tax exams and they do. I was given 4 calculations of my final bill and don’t understand how HMCR arrived at any of them. They are all different from my own sums. But what do I know. I’ve sent them a cheque for the most recent figure, which is £280 more than the smallest and £520 less than the largest, and hoping for the best.

After consulting with the health visitor and my next door neighbour, I’ve decided to give Rose formula instead of breastfmilk at the afternoon feed. Unfortunately I didn’t ask Rose what she wanted. First of all she chewed the teat and then realized the bottle was a total bully and her new worst enemy. So she cried and howled and wailed for half an hour, intermittently chewing the teat until it was a bit ragged. Finally I took the bottle away and there seemed to be more milk in it than there was at the start. Possibly it had become diluted with her tears and snot. Next I transferred the milk into a sippy cup and she spent some time alternately chewing my thumbnail and creating a fountain of milk. I don’t know how she did it but somehow she siphoned the milk out and dribbled it down under her bib until her clothes had turned into a swamp of cardigans and other garments all matted together, overlaid by a totally dry bib. It is slightly possible that some of the milk went inside her. I gave her some yoghurt and banana and she calmed down a bit, and stopped trying to effect a forced entry into my top. She is now having a little nap.

So much to fit in before I go back to work – I’ve signed up for a 10k and K has agreed to babysit while I do my training in the week. I’ve booked in an observation session at the local nursery and looking at other childcare options and booked in a meeting at work and SO MUCH TO DO SO LITTLE TIME!!!!!!!!!! ARGAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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