Return to wonky

I went into the office (computers, tea kitty) for meeting about return to work (what mums do during the day to pay for childcare). My boss it turns out told me the wrong facts about how much notice I’m supposed to give before coming back. I should have told them five weeks ago. Not that I’m so desperate to be back at my desk (table with computer and tea mugs) but there is the matter of some annual leave that under our hr system, returning mums lose if they don’t take it before leave year ends. I spent quite a while before baby considering whether to take all my leave in a chunk before going on mat leave: you have to be cautious because if you have the baby early the mat leave kicks in and you lose the annual leave. On the other hand if you return to work after a certain date, even if it’s within a year of going on mat leave, you lose your annual leave. What a strange way to treat staff. But why should they be nice to the women on maternity leave, it’s not like it’s a charity. Ok it is a charity.

I met R for lunch who is expecting, and enjoyed myself being condescending and dispensing wise advice about pregnancy. I was very firm with her about not looking at pregnancy websites and chat sites. I will concede that there is a morbid fascination in reading some of the squirmy relationship stories, also the entertainingly stupid questions people ask like ‘am I pregnant?” on those forums but overall the risk of worrying yourself silly outweighs the benefits. And such bad spelling.

Jason took Rose into his work and looked after her for the whole day. Last time he was in charge of her for a day he maintained that it was no work at all, and actually quite refreshing. Today he sank into the sofa after making dinner and his eyes were nearly shut before he hit the cushion. Still denies that looking after Rose is tiring. Both he and Rose looked so happy when I got home. I made a mistake by coming into the room to see them when I got home, then popping up to the loo, upsetting Rose who had her mum one minute and gone again the next. So upset, tears, crying. Sorry petal won’t do that again til you are at least 25.

Dropped morning breastfeed today. I can’t even remember the whole pain and agony of the first three months now really. Will tell story another time when life is dull.


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