BBC3 have taken a brassy, shameless reality fashion show and given it a makeover which has turned it into one of Gok Wan’s frumpy relatives. Hotter than my daughter was brilliant because it was basically Jeremy Kyle with clothes. They used to subject women to being slagged off to their faces by members of the public, then dress them in some crappy ASOS clothing and give them a few hair extensions, before sending them back to be judged to their faces by members of the public. Usually, the mother was also a granny but only about 35 years old. One or both of them would wear lycra so tight you could see their follicles, and bright orange fake tan on the acres of wrinkly skin overflowing from their sun-blasted cleavages.
Now the Atomic Kitten who doesn’t do Snog, Marry, Avoid takes them on a reality tv journey. Daughter says she is ashamed of her mother, who looks like she is on the game. Mother says she wishes her daughter, who looks like a lumberjack, would wear a skirt occasionally. Atomic Kitten gets them to talk about their issues, like I care. A few new clothes and a haircut and they are richer, more confident, better educated and have no relationship problems. I’d love to go on the show, my daughter would say I should wear more pink, particularly tights, and some fairy wings would be an improvement. I’d say it would be nice if she could just put her knickers on without a huge fuss (she’s two and a half). Hopefully, Atomic Kitten would give us some nice clean clothes and get the porridge out of our hair.