Sylvia has arrived in this world fully – she has gone from being a tiny scrap I could hold under one arm to being over a stone in weight, pudgy and very strong. She used to sleep all the time, and barely opened her eyes for nearly two months. Now she holds long conversations with people, with cats, with light fittings or just with the ceiling. I have never met a baby who actually says ‘gurgle’ before, but she says it. Her smile is so beautiful it makes people melt when they peer into the buggy. There’s something about her eyes when she smiles, they are very soft and make you feel you must be someone very special to receive a smile like that. You have to hold her firmly with both hands, and she does that baby thing of keeping both arms out like aeroplane wings as if she is ready to launch herself. I did indeed nearly drop her the other day when she made a leap for it.
She can now reach out and pick things up. She gets very frustrated because it can take a few swipes to get hold of something and then it goes on the floor. Her fingers are quite pointy, with fat knuckles, and her wrists have invisible threads tied round the fat parts. Incredibly satisfying especially when I think all that podge came from me, or more precisely the huge amount of cake I consume. Very excitingly, she can now stay in a high chair which is great if you are cooking or cleaning and can just throw things with interesting textures onto the tray for her to explore. I am over the moon about it, but also feel regret already that I’ll have to go back to work in a few months and miss out on so many exciting and lovely things she and Rose will go through in the next few years. I am trying to stop myself moaning and groaning about this too much, or will spoil the time I do have at home with them. Let’s not forget also that I only have Rose at home for 2 days a week and that’s hard enough, so not sure I could be a full time mum, at least not without a cleaner. And maybe a nanny and a cook.
Rose was off sick last Friday and we had a nice day playing games round the house. We now play snap together. It is an adapted version to play with her pack of animal cards, as all the animals come in pairs so you lay all the cards face up side by side instead of on top. She is pretty good at spotting the matching cards if she concentrates, and extremely good at shouting ‘snap’ very loudly and thumping the floorboards so hard the cats run away.
The other day she was brushing her teeth and humming, and I gradually realised she was doing the hokey cokey while standing on the toilet seat. As you do.
In the interests of science, I have decided to keep an occasional diary of food I eat in the course of a day, to show what amazing amounts I am ingesting in order to produce breast milk. It’s like being an actor bulking up for a fat part in a film, except I am mainly bulking up someone else. And my arse has got quite big too but hopefully that will decrease once I stop breastfeeding. So, today I ate the following; unless otherwise noted, all portion sizes are enormous
Apple, banana, yogurt and granola
1 slice buttery toast and cheese
About 3 slices of toast, ham, mayonnaise, big salad with sweetcorn and cucumber
Snack: a lion bar (this was a mistake, they aren’t that nice, should have had a Mars) – ate while pushing the buggy
lamb shank, spuds cabbage and peas
banana, raspberry and creme frech with some granola on top
dark chocolate, about a quarter of a big bar.
This doesn’t look so bad – I should have done this list yesterday when I ate 3 muffins in a row. I now feel an urge to go and eat marshmallows but really should go to bed and stop eating sugar. Writing it all down has convinced me my diet is far too healthy and I need to eat more cake. Something really large and high dripping with chocolate icing.