Rose has developed a line in comedy threats to Sylvia: what she does is, tell us a complex and unlikely scenario in which Sylvia might get hurt, prefaced with ‘We must not…’. So for instance, ‘We must not kick Sylvia in the stomach, because it would hurt her’. Other typical suggestions include not hitting or scratching Sylvia. This morning’s one was hilarious, Rose came into the bedroom holding a small blue plastic stool and said ‘We must not put this on Sylvia’s head, because it might hurt her’. I think we can be fairly sure that we know what’s in Rose’s mind which is reassuring, and at least she tells us rather than carries out her plans to damage her sister. Usually.

We watched the highlights of the royal wedding with Rose, she was interested in the flower girls, I still think someone should save Kate but it was a nice wedding if you don’t mind a bevvy of foreign dictators attending your nuptuals. I was sad nobody organised a street party, even a little republican one would have been quite nice. The queen did look a bit like a lurpak lady, in all that light yellow.


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