The girls have found a stash of balloons in a drawer. We spend a happy half an hour with Rose bringing me one balloon after the other. I blow them up and either we do farty noises with the neck, or let the balloons go whee around the room. The other favourite thing is squeaky teeth, where I hand a balloon to a child and they gnaw the balloon creating a nails on blackboard kind of squeaky squawk. The view through the balloon into child’s gaping jaws is a little bit terrifying. For some reason this is Sylvia’s most glorious enjoyment so therefore I love the vile squeaking noises.

I am off to spend two days in a hotel full of teachers tomorrow. I just looked up the hotel’s website and discovered they don’t have a pool, will go and remove swimsuit from luggage. I will take all my trousers though, as they do provide a trouser press in every room.


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